At the beginning
there's a rumbling
a flutter
of excitement
as we run
hand in hand
toward some
unknown destination
where we will
both soar together
or soon
crash land
---
April PAD Day 27 - take off
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Diem Perdidi
Inspired by Julie Otosuka's short story, which I read for the first time today and was tremendously moved.
I was in fifth grade
when I learned what
it was to forget
that my grandmother would
sometimes misplace her keys
or lose herself completely
in the space between thoughts
She once drove a car
into the side of
their motorhome when the
space completely seized her
my grandfather screamed for
her to stop but
she wasn't present to
hear him yelling her
name at the top
of his lungs, "Whoa
Tei! Stop, Tei, stop!"
He raged at the
damage, the fear of
losing a woman he'd
loved for 40 years,
and at the space
that stole her a
little more every day
a forgetting that would
not stop or slow
but plowed into her
like she had that
Airstream and that seized
all of us when
she could no longer
remember any of our names
---
April PAD Day 21 - responding to another poem
I was in fifth grade
when I learned what
it was to forget
that my grandmother would
sometimes misplace her keys
or lose herself completely
in the space between thoughts
She once drove a car
into the side of
their motorhome when the
space completely seized her
my grandfather screamed for
her to stop but
she wasn't present to
hear him yelling her
name at the top
of his lungs, "Whoa
Tei! Stop, Tei, stop!"
He raged at the
damage, the fear of
losing a woman he'd
loved for 40 years,
and at the space
that stole her a
little more every day
a forgetting that would
not stop or slow
but plowed into her
like she had that
Airstream and that seized
all of us when
she could no longer
remember any of our names
---
April PAD Day 21 - responding to another poem
Black holes
I saw this hauntingly beautiful piece at the Portland Art Museum today and was absolutely struck by it; the hair, the ears, the neck, the shoulders look just like my son ... and the anguish just moved me nearly to tears. It's like someone took a psychic x-ray or the human I love most in the world and this is what they saw. Heartbreaking.
So, of course, I wrote about it ...
sometimes
I see death
when I look
into my son's face
there's
an anguish that
could kill him
clawing just below the
surface
of his skin
a zombie eating
his brain from inside
sometimes
i see the
look of anguish
as he claws at
life
begging to be
freed from the
killer inside, the black
hole
in his throat
that's so big
it chokes out life
---
April PAD Day 6 - ekphrastic
Unsaid
his face droops on the right
though he doesn't know it
he hasn't looked in the mirror
for over a year
of course, when he cocks his head,
as he often does,
staring at the world from a
permanent 2 o'clock tilt
the waterfall of features
is less noticeable
the slope of his eyes and mouth,
melting like Dali's clocks
seem to disappear in some
off-center symmetry
as if this change of perspective
could erase the microscopic clot
that cut his hemispheres
right in two
and my father could no longer
right his crooked smile
---
April PAD Day 20 - what goes unsaid
though he doesn't know it
he hasn't looked in the mirror
for over a year
of course, when he cocks his head,
as he often does,
staring at the world from a
permanent 2 o'clock tilt
the waterfall of features
is less noticeable
the slope of his eyes and mouth,
melting like Dali's clocks
seem to disappear in some
off-center symmetry
as if this change of perspective
could erase the microscopic clot
that cut his hemispheres
right in two
and my father could no longer
right his crooked smile
---
April PAD Day 20 - what goes unsaid
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Glass slipper
She hadn't realized when they
first met that
this glass slipper would shatter
---
April PAD Day 23 - footwear
first met that
this glass slipper would shatter
---
April PAD Day 23 - footwear
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Rose
Unrooted flowers
droop their sad heads when there is
no sun to smile toward
---
April PAD Day 17 - haiku
droop their sad heads when there is
no sun to smile toward
---
April PAD Day 17 - haiku
Between us ...
I used to burn hot
kick off the covers at night
as I lay next to you
we would kiss and I'd
nuzzle into that sweet space on
your shoulder, press my cheek to
your chest and feel your
cool breath stick to my skin,
stick to the heat between us.
I used to burn hot
but without you next to me
there's just the cold space of
miles and memories between us.
.
---
April PAD Day 19 - cool or uncool
kick off the covers at night
as I lay next to you
we would kiss and I'd
nuzzle into that sweet space on
your shoulder, press my cheek to
your chest and feel your
cool breath stick to my skin,
stick to the heat between us.
I used to burn hot
but without you next to me
there's just the cold space of
miles and memories between us.
.
---
April PAD Day 19 - cool or uncool
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Last time I looked in the mirror
The last time I looked in the mirror
I saw my father's face
the double chin
the puffy cheeks
the bloated discontent
But the eyes are mine
They see the years of yelling
and trails of tears, but also
the determined jaw
the open heart
the penetrating mind
They see how the mirror lies
---
April PAD Day 13 - last (blank)
I saw my father's face
the double chin
the puffy cheeks
the bloated discontent
But the eyes are mine
They see the years of yelling
and trails of tears, but also
the determined jaw
the open heart
the penetrating mind
They see how the mirror lies
---
April PAD Day 13 - last (blank)
Outside time
there are these
moments when time
seems to slow
as if we
are outside of
it somehow, breathing
slowly, sitting outside
and just enjoying
the moment somehow
--
April PAD Day 14 - time out
moments when time
seems to slow
as if we
are outside of
it somehow, breathing
slowly, sitting outside
and just enjoying
the moment somehow
--
April PAD Day 14 - time out
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Love matters
He said he
loved her but that it
didn't really matter
She said she
loved him and he was
all that mattered
---
April PAD Day 2 - he said/she said
loved her but that it
didn't really matter
She said she
loved him and he was
all that mattered
---
April PAD Day 2 - he said/she said
Three seats wide
Our knees touch
in the most unromantic way
breathing each other
like lovers who'd rather be
anywhere but here
---
April PAD Day 3 - three (blank)
in the most unromantic way
breathing each other
like lovers who'd rather be
anywhere but here
---
April PAD Day 3 - three (blank)
In my experience
the number of years alive
isn't always the
best indicator of life lived
---
April PAD Day 5 - experience or inexperience
isn't always the
best indicator of life lived
---
April PAD Day 5 - experience or inexperience
Monday, April 4, 2016
The great divide
The greatest distance
between two people
is sitting side-by-side
unable to speak
what is really
in their hearts
--
April PAD Day 4 - distance
between two people
is sitting side-by-side
unable to speak
what is really
in their hearts
--
April PAD Day 4 - distance